I Am Woman…Hear Me…(Well, Just Hear Me!)

I love being a woman. I love being female (well except when having to use public restrooms). I like chivalry.

There are feminists out there who believe we as women should be equal to men in every way. This is a touchy subject because there are some things that I believe men and women should be equal on, but there are others that there is no way.

Equality should be when it comes to employment. Men should not get paid more because they are men. Women should not be passed up on promotions because she has “family obligations.” However, there should be certain accommodations for women to help her transition back to work after having a baby. One in particular – a safe, clean place to pump. My job did not have that. I would of had to use my male boss’s office that didn’t have a locking door. No thanks.

But, I like being treated like I’m special just because I have boobs and a vagina. I like being treated differently because I can create a life and a man can’t. I like having doors open for me, I like being served first at restaurants, and I like being catered to. Chivalry is not dead in my house.

Mine and David’s roles are traditionally defined, too. I stay home with Zack, I clean, I cook, I do laundry. David works, does the outside stuff, cleans up after the dog, works on cars. I feel weird when our roles cross and he has to cook dinner (like when I was on bed rest). I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I washed the car.

Some would disagree with my role as the wife and mother. But it doesn’t bother me. I rather enjoy it. So I change most of Zack’s diapers. So only I know where the clean socks are (because they are hardly ever in their drawer) and so what if I don’t know how much money we have in our accounts. This works for David and I. We are perfectly happy (though I think David wishes I had some income coming in) with the way things have turned out.

Feminists, more power to you. But please don’t ruin it for the chickies like me who like it the way it is.

Enough Said

Zack is now 11 months old. One more month and it’s been a whole year. I cannot believe how quickly time has gone by. Whew!

I hope he’ll always let me do this!

Disgusting!!

Why are public restrooms such a cesspool of nasty filth? How do they get so unbelievably disgusting?

I was at San Onofre surf beach this weekend, which I must say, was a total surfing stereotype! Cars lined up with surfboards, VW Beetles with a surfboard on top, old dudes completely tan…it was awesome! The surf sucked that day so I don’t even know if David was able to catch a wave or not, but all in all, it was cool to be there. Except, I had to pee.

I didn’t go in the water for a couple of reasons. First of all, Surf Beach is not the type of beach you can just wade in. I was sans a surfboard, plus a baby. The shore is rocky and well, there just wasn’t people playing in the water. Plus, my friend accidentally swallowed some water and he was instantly ready to puke (he’s accidentally swallowed water at Huntington, Hermosa, Redondo and El Porto without that affect). I wasn’t about to subject my body to that type of treatment, especially considering the San Onofre Power Plant is a hop, skip and a jump away. I didn’t want to have an extra leg or a glowing body just because I had to pee.

So once David got out of the water and could watch Zack, I hoofed it to the restrooms. Let me tell you…yuk. Uber yuk. I looked in one (the other was occupied) and turned around and walked back. I decided to hold it. I wouldn’t of been able to even straddle that disgusting mess.

The same was true at Hermosa. Disgusting…I took the second cleanest stall only because the cleanest didn’t have a door. Out of the 6, only two were usable…one was missing a door. It was so gross the lady that came in after me, just said F it, because she used the non-door stall.

Oh and the ranger station on the way up to Big Bear on Highway 38…blah! Cough cough choke choke.

How do people mess up bathrooms so bad? Can’t you turn around, pick up your leg and flush the damn toilet (see, women use their foot to flush the toilet instead of putting our hands on that nasty handle)?!?! And that person who left #2 sitting in there, DUDE!

Can you imagine the house the person that doesn’t have the decency to perform the most basic of civil courtesy lives in? The woman who leaves evidence that she’s flowing the crimson tide and can’t even flush, or wipe…EEK! I just can’t stand it!

Sometimes I really wish I was a man so that all I needed to do was whip it out and pee. No sitting, no trying to straddle a disgusting commode, no toilet seat covers (or an improvisation on a cover). Men, you do not know how lucky you are when it comes to the bathroom. No lines, either.

Okay, I know this post isn’t the most beautiful, but someday I’m going to have to take Zack into the stall with me and I’m going to have to try to explain to him that some people are just disgusting pigs. Then I’ll lathering him down with antibacterial lotion. Sometimes, I seriously get the eeby-jeebies when I see a mess like I did this weekend.

The Screaming Child

I’ve only been a mother for 11 months now. But I think I would know how to handle it if my child was at the store screaming his head off.

This article that I received in a link on Facebook and also as a link of a link of a link. I thought it was interesting enough to write about…well, the situation…not necessarily this incident. It’s about a man who hit someone else’s 2 year old daughter for crying loudly. Everyone has been at a store listening to the wails of a child who should really be dealt with.

Before I became a mom, I was very intolerant of other people’s crying kids. I would cringe and try to get far away from the aisle where the crying kid was. My only thought was, SHUT THAT KID UP! Again, totally intolerant.

Now that I’m a mom, I’m a bit more sympathetic. It’s true that Zack hasn’t had his major tantrum-meltdown in the middle of Target because he’s not getting the latest Transformers DVD, but I’ve seen scenarios where different things work. Bribery, distraction, letting them hold the toy and then have the cashier “forget” to put it in the bags. Worse case…leave the damn store.

Here’s what I’m going to do…I’ll try all of the above. And if it doesn’t work…I’ll leave. Yeah, it’ll suck to not get my shopping done, but why should I subject everyone else to that torture? It’s bad enough that I would have to go through it. Even if we have to go outside and take a little breather and then continue a bit later, it’s totally worth it. Both you and your child will have a more relaxed, enjoyable time.

Typing Quietly

Good thing the keyboard on my Mac is fairly quiet. Otherwise, I don’t know what I’d do for the next couple of hours.

See, not only do I have to rock Zack to sleep every time he sleeps (two naps and bedtime), but he hardly ever sleeps solidly through. He usually wakes less than half way in. When he wakes up he immediately starts crying and stands up in his crib. So I have to pick him up, rock him back to sleep. Sometimes he’ll do this 2 or 3 times in a 15 minute period. Then…he’s finally asleep.

Did I mention that he’s about 25 pounds now? Oh yeah, and almost 11 months old.

So, since running in as soon as he wakes up and pat him on the back doesn’t work, I’m now staying in his room waiting for the slightest stir so that I can pounce with the patting. He does this at night, too, for about the first hour. Last night was really bad…7 times…from 10:30-12:30. Then he woke up at 5am.

It seems like it’s getting worse. Could it be that he’s almost walking? Could it be his molars peeking through? Can it be that it feels like a freaking inferno and he’s dripping with sweat? I’m sure all of the above is what’s doing me in.

I really need to stop rocking him every time, too. So along with trying to keep him asleep, I’m also trying to ease him in to just falling asleep on his own. I bet all of this goes hand-in-hand, which is why I’m working on both together.

What does this mean? Well, my house looks like crap. Dishes need to be done, rooms need to be picked up, laundry needs to be washed, floors need to be swept, toilets need to be cleaned. But until this boy is sleeping a solid nap…sorry. I’m hoping this will only take a few days.

(It worked during the first stir! Woohoo!)

This also means I can catch up on my readings and writings. Focus more on this here blog.

Next Time, I’m Buying 2 Sizes…

I get the fact that adult clothing is a season ahead. Sometimes it doesn’t quite make the best sense in the world, but it’s something I’m accustomed to and I’m used to it. But baby’s clothes should not be a season ahead.

I bought short sleeved jammies for Zack in the beginning of summer. I bought about 4 sets all in 12 months, which were big for him at the time. I should really be putting him in 18 months now (I can see his belly poking through the bottom of his shirt on the monitor), I can only find long sleeves. This sucks because it’s still too hot for long sleeves, but his short sleeves are getting too small.

It’s so hard to buy clothing for babies and small children. I also need to get Zack a jacket, but for one, they’re expensive – who puts jackets on sale in the beginning of their season; and two, I still can’t find them too often. But it’s so hard to judge what size they’ll be a whole season ahead. Another example is that he got too big for his 12 months shorts. So I had to dig, dig and dig through clearance racks and I found 3 pairs of 18 months shorts in 2 different stores. But if I wanted pants…there were plenty. If I knew he was going to grow out of his clothes before the season ended, I would of bought clothing in two sizes.

Ah, but this winter I’m learning. I’m buying very little 18 months, but enough so that he can wear it now. Then I’m buying 24 months since he’ll be in that size too soon to imagine. I’m also looking at 2Ts. Shoes are even worse! Luckily he’s a boy and there’s not that much to choose from.

Sigh. Live and learn, I guess.

***

On a side note, Brian Williams from the NBC Nightly News is down in LA covering all of our wildfires. I must add that he looked quite handsome in his anchor-on-the-road clothing.

Southern California is on Fire!

Well, so it seems. There are fires everywhere! Not just tiny ones either…ones that are threatening our way of life!

Normally, fires in Southern California are just something I see on the news or I may be close enough to smell some smoke. But that’s it. They don’t typically affect me, though my heart goes out to families that have to be evacuated or worse, loose their homes.

Two winters ago, my gramma and I went to a daffodil garden in Big Bear. We had to drive on a street that was affected by the fires a year or so back. It was very eerie seeing just foundations where homes used to be.

This fire season (some areas have seasons of rain, fall, summer…we have fire season), it seems the fires around Southern California are hitting a bit closer to home (not in the literal sense). The first fire on the news (apparently, many don’t make it on the 24 hour coverage) started near my friend’s house in the San Gabriel Valley. The next one…they call it the Station Fire…is threatening to take out all of the antennas for television and radio in Southern California. Mt. Wilson is the main place cell towers, transmission towers, even towers for police and fire are located. There’s even an observatory up there that some UCs and Cal States use for research. Then there’s the Oak Glen fire. This one just started yesterday. It’s near apple and cherry orchards and their season is coming up. My family likes to make annual trips to pick apples (not to mention the freshest apple cider you’ll ever have short of making it yourself). It’s a quaint little village community, and now those homes, businesses and orchards are being threatened.

Another fire, in the Calimesa/Yucaipa area is getting dangerously close to one of my friends. In fact, I was supposed to travel the 70+ miles there to see her for the first time in 7-8 years. She left me a message in Facebook telling me that mandatory evacuations are only 2 miles from her home and school was canceled. Very scary.

I know the news will have you thinking that all of Southern California is on fire. And it may seem like it since there are so many. But we’re not. But at this point, I don’t know anyone who isn’t affected by a fire.

Take Lots of Pictures!

You can NEVER have too many photos. Especially is this age of digital photography.

I’m feeling a bit sentimental these days. I just got reacquainted with friends that my family met 20 years ago this summer. They are 4 brothers and even though 2 of my cousins married 2 of the brothers, it’s the other 2 I hardly ever saw. Now, thanks to Facebook, they are no longer unreachable.

The idea for this post started as a nostalgic look back and the importance of a piece of property, called “the Lot,” had in my life. I wanted to maybe add some pictures but then I realized…I had none. And if some were taken, they would be very few and far between. Another reason that I changed the idea of this post is because I noticed that I do not have nearly the amount of photos growing up as David’s family has. Lesson of the day: Take lots and lots of photographs!

We take tons of photos now. To put into perspective how many photos we take, when David’s grandma told me she had dozens of pictures of her kids growing up, she said “I bet you have hundreds of Zack.” I laughed to myself and thought “more like thousands.” We may be on photo overload, but again, with digital photos, who cares! They only take up space on your hard drive and if you organize them well, you can effortlessly find what you’re looking for and easily take a trip down memory lane.

We have two cameras: a DSLR and a point-and-shoot. I like having both within an arm’s reach and I’ll tell you why. Sometimes you’re looking for that totally awesome shot at a party or at the beach or even (shhh, don’t tell the photography studios) take professional-looking shots. That’s where our Nikon D80 comes in handy. It’s always ready to go, waiting in the living room, for that perfect photo of Zack being…well…Zack. But sometimes you don’t want to carry the extra weight of the SLR and you’re maybe just going over to your mom’s for a quick visit. No need to pack the big camera, just throw the point-and-shoot (ours is a Panasonic Ts-1) in your purse, diaper bag or pocket and go. It’s perfect for those quick moments that someone is doing something stupid or crazy or cute that you just don’t want to forget. Or sometimes, for me, I just don’t have room in my bag for the SLR and the Panasonic fits nicely.

I always have one (or both) of the cameras with me. I’m ready to snap a shot of anything that looks interesting or that I want to always remember. Zack will have tons of photos of him growing up (and plenty of years before he was born) to enjoy when he’s older. I never want to be without a visual representation of a memory again.

Always carry your camera. It should be as important as carrying your license, credit card and keys!

There Goes My Sunblock Bill

I exercised AGAIN today. I love it. Oh, I’ll admit, it’s very hard to get going, but once I’m out there…I’m loving it!

Today my walking partner was sick. Instead of just staying home I decided to pack the kid up anyways and while I was at it, throw the jogger in the car. I make all of this sound easy, but let me tell you…it was not as easy as it sounds. The jogger alone weighs like 15-20 pounds, and lifting it into the Rav was not the easiest task in the world, especially when Zack was crying impatiently from his car seat.

Instead of parking 4 blocks away from the beach in free parking, I decided to park right next to it. Zack’s been doing this thing where half way through the walk he gets, I don’t know, bored I guess and cries until he’s picked up. Then I have to hold all 24 pounds of him and push the stroller. Well, not today, my friend…not with the jogger. So I paid my whopping 3 bucks and I parked right next to the boardwalk/strand/pavement that goes along the sand.

I didn’t just walk…no I did not. I actually tried running (I had knee surgery right before getting pregnant and let’s just say my knee has not made a full recovery). I didn’t run as much as I would of liked because my knee started hurting, but I ran none-the-less. And it was a lot harder that I remembered it was. And true to his lately self, Zack started whining when we were nearing the parking lot, so I just let him. By then I was dripping with sweat, hot and there was no way I could hold him and push that heavy stroller.

I told Zack that we should do this everyday! I felt so good when we were done that I didn’t even take a nap today (and that’s saying something considering that he woke up for about an hour this morning at 3 and then again at 6:30 for a bottle). I really felt…exhilarated. I haven’t felt this alive in a long time. I felt so good, that I want to feel this good everyday.

That means not only will I be spending more money in sunblock (by the way, that stuff is NOT cheap!) but also in potential parking fees. I tend to find free parking, but it’s so incredibly easier to park near the sand instead of blocks away. Especially if Zack’s going to get bored halfway through and cry his way back to the car.

Ah, I feel great. I feel good. And this is something that I can continue to do once I get pregnant again.

To Party or Not…That is the Real Question

My little baby…my tiny baby…the baby that is growing up WAY too fast will be 1 in about 5 weeks. I cannot believe it’s been that long since Zack has been in existence. Where it feels like only yesterday that I had him, I feel like he’s been with me forever.

My dilemma…should I throw the biggest party the world has ever seen or do I play it cool with just those close to us?

Okay, so maybe throwing the biggest party the world has ever seen is an exaggeration. What I mean to say, is should I invite who would normally come to a birthday party my family was throwing…the entire family? Or should I just invite my close friends (haha, all my friends are close), immediate family and grandparents? Let me explain where this perplexity comes from.

In David’s family birthdays are celebrate with just the immediate family and a very close uncle. A cousin may appear, but not usually. The parties are during the day, usually at grandma’s house and sometimes a meal (fast, quick and cheap) is thrown in. They do not make a big deal of presents…but you get a cake! And usually, it’s only David’s mom’s side that celebrates (of course his dad is there!) as a whole.

In my family, it is quite opposite. The ENTIRE family gets together…aunts, uncles, cousins, second-cousins, grandparents, friends, friends of friends…EVERYONE. Presents aren’t usually the main focus here, either, which is good. The meal is usually a bbq, though sometimes pizza is a good alternative. Cake is definitely there and both sides of the family usually partake together.

This means that David would like to be low-key and I am thinking high-key. I would rather not project that birthdays are the next best thing (to Christmas!) and make our children greedy in hope they get lots of presents at every birthday. However, I feel that, at least for his first birthday, everyone should get an invite.

At Zack’s baby shower (which was more like a Baby’s First BBQ instead of your typical chick-shower) I had over 60 people here. Family I hadn’t seen in a long time, all five sides (my friends are the fifth side) all in one backyard. It was nice, hectic, but nice. I want this for Zack’s first birthday. Presents are a second thought, and I really don’t care if people bring a gift for him or not. But I think it would be cool for everyone to celebrate his first year of life.

Maybe after that, each subsequent birthday can be played down. I don’t mind not having the big shindigs every year. But I think the first is the special-est of them all. Besides, people would be mighty hurt if they don’t get invited. This I know for sure.

The logistics of having that many people over…ooh, I’m getting a headache already.