On this 13th of July in the year 2002, David and I stood in front of about 100 family and friends and moved our relationship into the realm of the married. (By the way, it’s really hard to concentrate on posting while watching Wipeout on TiVo!) Today we celebrated our seventh anniversary. I should mention that we were together eight years before we got married.
I’d have to say, David and I have a really good, strong relationship. One of the strongest I’ve seen. This is especially considering that when I look at our families, one set of grandparents are the only ones who are still married and do not have a previous marriage on their record.
I’ve been asked before what makes our relationship so great. How is it that we’ve been together for 15 years, without a breakup, and we’re still going strong? Here are some things that contribute to our success:
Communication. Cliche, yes, but true. We talk all the time (me doing most of the yapping). In fact, if David finds out that I’ve been upset at something or whatever, he is upset that I didn’t tell him. He tells me when something is bothering him, I usually pay him the same courtesy. However, there are times that I’m just being a girl, so I don’t typically share those girly things that pass with my monthly visitor.
Don’t Walk Away Mad. Again, cliche, but true. We don’t usually fight. We argue. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t argue, but we hardly fight. I can only think of, maybe twice, for sure once, that we actually had a fight (although I forget now what it was about, I remember I went to his work the next day to apologize). But when we argue, we don’t let it stew. Now, there’s a person is this relationship that holds grudges, and he knows it. He recognizes this and he works with it. But no matter what we argue about, before we go to sleep, it’s figured out, apologized for or settled. I usually am the one to get over it first (okay, I always am), but eventually David comes around and forgets about the beef.
Honesty. We’re honest with each other. You bet your ass if I ask David “Honey, does my butt look big in these pants?” I better be prepared for the real answer. David doesn’t sugar coat. He’ll tell me “yes, they do” or simply say, “do you really want me to answer that?” It goes with communication, but we speak honestly with each other. Okay, sure, there are plenty of times that David has to decipher my girl speak, but it gets out.
Bathroom Door is Shut. Don’t laugh, this is a key feature of a healthy relationship (contrary to popular belief). David and I, in the 15 years we’ve been together (12 of living together), have not peed or pooped in front of each other (okay, there was one time when I peed in front of him but I was completely wasted and David wanted to make sure I was going to make it…we weren’t even married yet). A requirement in whatever dwelling we live in is that it HAS TO have 2 bathrooms minimum. We do not share our excretions with each other. Yes, I had a baby where I pushed for three hours. My biggest concern about the delivery…the possibility of pooing on the table in front of David. I kid you not. THANKFULLY, our bodies work in a such a miraculous way that my bowels were cleaned out before contractions got really rough (well, if you ask me, after that trip to the bathroom is when my contractions really kicked in).
So there you have it. Four tricks to my happy relationship.
Happy Anniversary, my babe! (even though you are sitting in the same room with me on your laptop)
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